keeping up with my life

how to keep up with life?

actually i wonder why i stop blogging. i often blog imaginatively. i keep telling myself i should be blogging this story but i just stop / forgot to do so. 

i used to be so afraid of the future (actually still do at some point). but if you feel more grateful everyday for a roof above your head, food on your table, you're prolly one of the luckiest bunch on earth. 

i plan so far ahead for everything in life (since i over worry a lot) sometimes i feel am i overdoing it too much but then instead all these future planning made me want to work towards it. 

also sometimes, for working it day by day also make working easier compare to always setting big goals for yourself and trying to be perfectionist over everything. for example on the huge mistake i did, as of now im really worrying how to deal with the difficult customer. but now i take things one step at a time. i try to deal with it the next day (even tho it looks like i procrastinate) but the drag makes me have more collective thought, well structured script, more stories to make up, and not to be afraid of more things. come what may. if it gets really bad tomorrow, i'll just face it up to my boss. yes it impacts my kpi and image and how bad i deal with things but no point stressing it out anyway. still praying for a rainbow after storm tomorrow. 

if i were to set big goals mean i'll have to settle it by the day. it would mean i'll end up having bad relationship with this client. causing more stress on my own. maybe would even get more scolding than actually been trying it hard. 

so im at the age where i need to seriously consider if im comfortable with my life or i want to be progressive. 

comfortable means: im happy with my salary, my job, i dont need much growth as long as it just go on steadily as it currently can satisfy my lifestyle but it'd mean no further spending / splurging.

progressive means: i need to work hard to show my result and climbing up the social / career ladder to move forward for more things in life. 

being at this age means struggling in between especially in the generation of prioritising mental health. ofc my intention is more to progressive side but at times i just want things to slow down a bit (tho time doesnt wait for me). i just wish im more courageous to face my own future. 

pray for me to get things done tomorrow. 

rest well peeps x