favouritism

i dont usually come across this word. maybe we just use another word like "teacher's pet" whatever.

told you how im really upset with how my boss manages the team because there's this one girl he favourites. i mean ofc, you certainly like someone better compared to other (not like like, not relationship like, it's just friendship like) so you tend to cover up for them better etc

ive known her since i joined this company. first impression to me she was quite competent and she did all the excel managing the team's finances, coming out with layout from scratch etc and she's very good in writing - (which tbh i later found out everyone can be at this level with a little more practise)

besides all the coming in late and leave early (which i do sometimes), she started to be granted a lot of nonsensical leave without needing to deduct her actual leave quota. the top excuse would be "my nanny bailed on me and i need to take care of my children". tbh, i dont blame her as i understand how difficult it is to take care of small babies but this leave needs to be documented. it can be registered as part of her annual leave, emergency leave, even if it granted specially it still need to be documented and let everyone from the team aware that she's absent for some reasons. and ofc, this happens more than my fingers & toes added up for a year long.

sadly, every time she's not in office, even though i do not really have to guess the excuses, our boss will not be telling everyone what's going on with her. however when i needed to take an emergency leave for half a day, he quickly notified the admin and the team i'll be absent for half a day and ask someone to cover my calls if need be. when someone is on MC, my boss will also be notifying the admin to take care of the administrative work. however for her case, nope, nothing is going on.

worst still during this MCO, she has achieved nothing really because i actually have been the one who has been doing all the work which we were supposed to be shared. furthermore, she only needed to reply emails on the documents that i have drafted but she did not even do it after weeks. sometimes i know im not in the position to do so that's why i dont usually send emails but tbh she is holding on everybody's time even when things are completed for her and yet she's not acting on it.

further to that, i always send updates to both my boss and her in term of the progress. especially on the development of individual leases at what stage it is at and what's pending from both sides. no doubt that my boss has been really really busy and isnt able to review some of the work, that's why she comes into play to assist in reviewing the documents so i can move forward. but nope, she nvr read my emails. even if she did she prolly nvr actually check my work to review them and that has dragged for months. so anyhow, i just sent out all the things she's supposed to do to the client disregarding the fact that im actually at a lower position to do that.

on top of that, despite of her incompetence to actually close any deals and complete any actions for the past months, she was promoted. this has ofc gained a lot of anger among my team. and i only discovered it as our admin was updating our name card. this promotion news was not even shared publicly among the team. being at even higher position, which obviously bear even more responsibility, her KPI is still lower compared to her peers in the team. she did not even possess any leadership quality to say she will be taking responsibilities to lead a project. even when i was trying to get a confirmation from her just now, she pretended to forgot about it (or actually forgot about it) that she had passed the documents to the clients. it just made me furious as our client was already blaming us for being incompetent and all her incompetent qualities are showing out.

im so tired of her. so tired of my boss still taking care like a 3 year old. tired of how speaking up will actually risk my job especially at times like this. i would be more patient to let karma does its own thing but at this juncture i feel i just need to shout it out.

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career worries?

Just trying to kill off some time in the office so here i am blogging.

First of all, it wasnt exactly an exciting news for me, i was promoted to senior executive. (p/s: it does not come with salary increment as company is not in good financial position)

why wasnt i happy with the promotion? because i anticipated it on january - february when the company was distributing bonus. this is also usually the time of promotion and salary increment etc. sadly i wasnt offer a promotion nor salary increment even though they say there'll be salary adjustment after 1 year service subjecting to performance review.

and why did they promote me in midst of crisis? the company's financial is still stable but it's definitely not as strong now. and i broke  this news to my colleague in another department, to my surprise quite a number of employees were promoted (prolly without increment like i do). and some were promoted to SVP level, and since company has released memo earlier where employees with SVP level and above will be subjected to 10-20% paycut. therefore, newly promoted SVP got their pay cut. i know, this is also wtf to me.

i have been wanting to leave anyway. i feel my learning curve has been stagnant for quite some time and i want to do something different. definitely to get someone who will actually appreciate and value me. obviously times like this are hard. but im still very eager to change. just want things to get better.

so speaking of change, ofc im rather ambitious that i would want to prolly start fresh to be digital marketer in retailer (even without relevant skills lulz because i thought i can pick them up along the way) but apparently digital marketing courses have been made available and taught in universities. so obviously those fresh grads would have even better skillsets than i have even though i have 2 years working experiences. i mean ofc what i've been working is so different from digital marketing but i still understand the dataset and knowledge on how to comprehend.

anyhow, i have accepted the fact that i cant actually venture into pathways that are too varied and way outside my league. picking up CFA classes have not been helping because i still do not have economic background as support for most banking roles. therefore i was trying my luck if i can have consulting managing role in the big 4s. sadly no luck as well as big 4s in malaysia are not as advance and diverse compared to other countries where they have retail consultation and other exciting consultancy roles. yes this is applicable to mckenzie here as well.

i have been actively applying a lot of new business development roles on job street. 90% of my applications were rejected. i highly suspect because of my degree even though they say they dont mind any degrees and i have very customer centric experience. i do not understand why im not qualified for all these new roles when im even willing to give up my salaries for it.

anyhow, on the brightside of my promotion, i am able to ask for a better position in next firm and hopefully a better salary given in this situation.

so my plan now is still not too far off from my original plan of going to investment industry. i will now try my best to get into competitor firms for better positions. for now, self advancement is what i value most.

i hope everyone is encouraging each other at this challenging time. i just hope everyone is not too sad over the job less for now and i wish for a prosperous year ahead.

see yall loves x


(meanwhile im trying to categorise my few hundreds of liked songs on my spotify into different play lists by listen to all songs one by one. i'll update you all if i am able to finish them this month haha.)

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