Time does fly. i always thought the last update i had was just 2 weeks ago.
i havent been very good. mostly due to work. i never thought my new job would make me like this. now i understand why vivian wants to leave the company so badly. anyway i just got converted into permanent effective 1st June. no more probation but no pay raise. and my increment calculation will only starts on 1st June so i gotta wait another year to see another increment or potential promotion (if possible lmao).
i love my job but i dont like my management. everyone is just pure workaholic. i wonder if they have a life outside their laptop. maybe that's the reason why they're single (omg im so bad). but i really wonder sometimes why i couldnt be at their level. do i slack too much? but why should i still be thinking about job on my free days. i only get paid peanuts.
really want to have a career change. towards sth that's more adaptable to current market demand. my current job is niche and not so easily replaced so everyone will just know where you gonna go next. that's why i wanna pursue sth different - most likely e-commerce. something that is going forward now. but im trying my best to make 1 year mark with my current company (6 months 2 weeks to go). and hopefully by then im able to move on to something bigger.
i also took my first dose of AZ. whatever blood clot thing didnt even bother me because i feel this is the next best thing i could get if i dont want to infect my family. tho mum was quite hesitant of my decision but i still did it. since i did it at the very first batch where no one wanted the vaccines, i did. look at today everyone is trying to grab their second batch of AZ and it has ran out (not sure if totally ran out lulz). and very glad that i did it as the cases in malaysia keep recording daily new high and it doesnt show any slowing sign. really wanted a full lockdown to prevent spread (but mostly i just dont want to go to work).
this new MCO SOP has not been very friendly to my job. it has added so much burden and i have yet to recover from all those sudden hit. the sudden closure because of HIDE's list. tighten SOP. shorten hours. getting rid of high risk people etc etc which have lowered tenants confidence and i really dont know how the fuck do i source new tenants when all termination cases are happening. i havent dreamt about work for a good 2 months now but it recently came back due to the work load.
things have not been very good to me this month. the only happy thing about this month is there were quite a good number of public holidays where i can totally recharge. but no matter how much sleep i get it was not enough. im still bugged to do work that's not at my level and non working hours. doing all sort of nonsense that the management want you to do. btw do you know i was needed to take care of the sanitisation work, and previously they also scheduled me as "standing guard" to guard the entrances so that high risks people will not check in. luckily due to new mall operation hours my duty has been removed. but tbh im not paid to be guards.
looking at my pay, my work load, my happiness level, my mental health. it all doesnt weigh in. i understand things arent always perfect but this is too much to handle sometimes. but im always grateful that ive a job in this pandemic, even now a permanent staff, where not many people are as lucky as i do. that's also the reason why to hopefully stretch for a full year service in hope pandemic will be stable by then in order for me to source out.
i also posted about side incomes thoughts yesterday in my ig. srsly dont really know what can i do besides opening only fans (and i wonder if people would subscribe hahahaha). i just want things to get better in general.
i havent had a great talk with my boi too as i have so many things i want to work together going forward but i just have so many things on going right now that i just didnt want to bother.
i pray for a smooth june. to peacefully end half of 2021.
happy wesak day everybody.