let's follow up with the goals i set for myself.
CFA - nope i didnt touch a single chapter this month *cries internally*. I will do it next month i promise
Yoga - no i did not do it every weekend. but i make sure i make it up to it or similar effort. will keep on doing it. (also my back is quite fucked up. had my x ray done last friday for better chiropractic treatment. someone sponsors my treatment please my package is ending)
Piano - yes still trying to be good at my chopin & beethoven.
Duolingo - j'apprends le français régulièrement
okay whenever it comes to blog it'll always be the depressing stuffs.
yes it's about work again.
yes i made the same extra mistake that i shouldnt be doing again. tho it's nothing major and does not actually affect much of process. but still rookie mistake is not meant to be done again. i srsly wondering why do i keep making rookie mistakes like this.
not only im constantly being stressed about my deals - which my prospects really do not have that much money to do it - or srsly i just have no luck with them - but sorry i just cant close the deals for you.
aside from new deals, i have so many other things you ask me to run for you. ive to do marketing here and there. requests things from other dept and even to create new letters ???
i really cant explain to others my workload. tho i often have to OT until max 7pm (rarely 8pm) - which is so much better than my peers who all have to OT until 12am or even later (shed some tears for my bb carol and jess), but every night and weekends i need to mentally prepare for myself why my leads have gone missing, what are the further leads i can source, what are the further documentation i have yet to do that i can only do tomorrow, explaining to my bosses why did i miss out this documentation, why i cant process this doc because of system problem, why i cant proceed with this negotiation etc etc like my job is in need of so much human touch where no decision can be made on the spot and i constantly need to be in this mood all the time. so when people ask me why am i stress, all i can say i just have a lot of different SOPs to adhere to which is beyond my control and also i cant remember all of them (because i dont have a handbook for all these SOPs you're just expected to know) therefore im just always confused and lost and really just tired of all these.
i had the chance to have 3 hours brunch with shi min and bowie the other day. bowie has been my saviour for the past 2 months where i encountered serious problem on excel (she's in actuaries). and we ofc brought up about work and salaries. bowie often have to work till 8-10pm and getting same pay with shi min whose job is really just 10am-3pm. and then i actually get 1k lesser than both of them (:
so i gave in a lot of thought about this. because i have a heavy commitment (tbh i dont see it as a commitment - maybe because my mum helped a lot as well - because i know this is something i want desperately) and i seriously dont have a lot of money to spare every month. not like i need a lot of unnecessary shits but my savings is just enough for my europe backpack trip. which is very bad.
i came across a post about the 50/30/20 rule again where 50% should be for your commitment & necessity, 30% emergency funds + wants and 20% savings. so i roughly calculated based on my commitment.
House commitment = 21% (partial loan to mum, utilities)
Other necessities = 50% (food, petrol, insurance, mobile and % would increase if i have any card debt god knows what else i spent on)
Chiro treatment = 20% (and it's monthly instalment (': 1/3 of it used to be my gym membership)
Savings = 9% (which is whatever left over after paying all these bills which is also my contingency funds)
ofc the post does say this 50/30/20 rule does not apply to every individual. because not everyone has constant income and also everyone's priorities are different.
therefore im really looking out for a job that at least pay me 30% higher in if i were to stress like now. it's not worth getting stressed 24/7 for that peanut money. at the same time im also very grateful i have a job during this pandemic.
i thought i'd have a lot to talk about but just dont come up to my mind now. i guess im just tired and i need my sleep. hope things get better for you all.
please continue to pursue what you want to achieve. despite hating my job but i know i need this learning curve for my future. 2 more weeks to my 5th month. praying i can last for the next 7 months.
if you havent already please follow my ig @drencedinsidethiswonderland where i post casual rant.
hope i can march it out.