i had that nostalgic sensation when i put on the leggings and the pair of black nike.
yesterday night wear for no way home.
suddenly it felt like im about to go out for my frisbee training with the autumn leaves.
walking trail to one of the training days
also suddenly it felt like it's the start of my 10pm shift at soho.
post football night
you guys have no idea how much ive worn that black nike walking everywhere and all the indoor frisbee trainings in the UK.
like yesterday when i was in the outfit, my heart just miss the UK so much. i'd give my all to go back.
i did think deeply if i could see myself living there starting all over again. because it's quite a scary thing to do. but if chances are there why not?
i really want to settle over there. but with all the shitty skills i had i wonder if any employer would sponsor my visa haha.
i cant describe the feeling inside of me. but i just want to get a ticket and fly back instantly. even though those were the times i felt loneliest but i was so full. i had no time to waste. ive seen and experienced most things where not everyone has gotten the chance to.
im forever grateful for my mum for being able to let me study overseas.
im also daydreaming on the days where i'd eventually land a job over there. it's so farfetched but it's something i really want to do.
looking back at the photos, there were so much ups & downs when i was there. i can suddenly taste the crisp air. the chill i had for the week when i lost my heater. went out on the bad date. jumping out from the heli. getting the best dissertation award. the smell of chinese takeaway. the alcohol all over my body. i just want everything back.
with brexit and everybody seems to be losing their jobs, how am i supposed to be over there to outshine everybody?
im not saying malaysia is not good. all my family & friends are here. when something's wrong i know who to go to, where to get it fixed, and get all my fav food. politically, both msia and UK are not doing any great either. but srsly in my heart, i just want to be in liverpool right now.
im not sure is it because that's the place where i grew the most. the place where i found the true self. the place where i realise sky is the limit. im just suddenly having the largest withdrawal in 4 years.
this is such a wishful thinking. but i wonder if i can make it a reality. i srsly pray for this dream to come true.
2022 soon.
this 2022 means very different to me. because im about to start a new job with a new team with a rather skeptical manager.
im also gonna start as a new position with potentially people under me. i'd eventually need to take up leadership role which im really scared to go through it.
it's the year i learnt that mental health is so important. no matter how much i love the job, i must take care of my health both mentally & physically instead of just letting people to consume within me.
also the year i learnt not to give up so easily. i faced so many challenges & obstacles throughout the year especially in my job. and i chose to give up. i told myself many times to persevere but i just wasnt motivated to do so. and i was rather depressed for a couple of months. i didnt feel like myself.
i also learnt that money is literally everything. i cant deny im so realistic and cold when it comes to money but it's that one thing to survive.
im happier since i resigned. i started back my aerial yoga. i spent money like crazy (within means) and it felt so good to be gifting. and i was literally weeping because it was for so long since i bought something for myself. i start to smile brighter with all the things ive been longing to buy.
next year is the year to go slimmer. 3kgs are enough. and then to persevere. not to give up easily. always prioritise my health. always find the solution. aim for the goals. be more optimistic. be the support i can for everybody. be more cheerful. and do all the things i've been wanting to do instead of dragging it. learn more french. study my derivatives. hopefully go for aerial teaching training.
my 2022 is full. hope i can execute the plan.
i pray everything is great for everybody. the flood was very devastating. and i sincerely hope we're doing better for the mother earth and everything be doing better. x
